While Kinrys may be correct in saying 75 percent of male clients seeking the services of relationship advisers may be looking for committed partnerships, a July story in the New York Times and the experiences of popular dating site Plenty of Fish don’t give credence to her statement.
The New York Times looked at the increase of hookups within university campus lives and, although, there were a percentage of young women happy to confirm that casual sex was their preferred way of life through their early 20s and possibly 30s, a number of young women revealed how their romantic dreams had been destroyed on arrival at university, as they witnessed the behaviours and attitudes towards casual sexual encounters. Details provided by some of the women interviewed indicated their first sexual encounters at university had actually been rapes, with the virtually senseless girl going along because she was influenced by alcohol.
Markus Frind, founder of Canadian dating site Plenty of Fish, also has no illusions about intentions of men on dating sites. He scrapped the “Intimate Encounters” section of the site after revealing that only 6,041 of the section’s 3.3 million daily users were women and that, in effect, the Intimate Encounters section of the site amounted to no more than ” a bunch of horny men talking to another bunch of horny men pretending to be women.” Why these men felt the need to post fake profiles depicting themselves as beautiful women is a bizarre mystery to which only they could provide the answer and perhaps Kinrys might like to take a look into this aspect of the male psyche for her next book.
Well, about a month ago I finally joined plenty of fish, a free online dating site based out of Vancouver, that many co-workers claimed was a great way to meet attractive, interesting single women. I soon found plenty of women willing to talk about … themselves, their problems, their depression, the fact they had 3 kids, a low-wage job or were so ambitious men hated them. I had dates. Well several of them, with people I knew I really wouldn’t like. One girl had a photo of herself which promised a slender brunette with a nice rack. She showed up with a rattly old clunker of a car, a really garish handbag and a (shudder) mustache! She was over-weight, shy and extremely boring. A total suburbanite. And under-employed to boot, even though she claimed to be getting her graduate degree. Yikes! I made a mistake by getting in her car (I live in an urban environment where a car is more annoying than convenient) and going for a ride. She claimed to want to “hang out” with me, but in reality she just needed A)a place to have a free drink B)a place to “pee” (eww!) and C)a place to bitch about her problems. Damn you, woman, you’re ugly and need a shave!
Finally, I met an attractive woman. But, she too was concerned about her recent weight gain (a modest 15 pounds) and the fact she was a virgin. I really want to *** her brains out, but something feels weird when we speak online. When we meet over coffee, it feels like we’re still chatting online, distant yet close but ultimately out of reach. Very frustrating.
But even though the dating site is filled with sad bored lonely women (and men–like myself, lol), people hold back and just can’t be themselves. It’s like reading a tabloid about a famous person, then when you see them walking down the street, it’s like a totally different person. You know them, but do you really “know” them?
I even met a girl I used to work with, and secretly had a crush on. But something, just like a co-worker, seems unreachable. Porn is much more satisfying, at least from the point of view of this recovering gambler….
Online dating is like reading Playboy–fluff and air-brushed lives disguised as love. Damn it, I hate this internet I’m so addicted to!